I started to drink , I didn’t sleep and I became a recluse. I fell apart. Im ashamed as I write this to say that I turned my back on everyone, including my wife. I didn’t know what to do. I should have been there for her as she was for me.

 

The Doctors say that I was experiencing a loss on a grand scale. They likened it to a Parent that has a child die , only for me, I lost my children before they could live. I was Grieving and nothing could snap me out of it, it’s a wave that I had to ride. The only person who could pull me up was me. Everyone around me was trying to help , friends saying things like "I know what your going through" , as they rock their babies to sleep. "I know what your going through?"…. Really??? Because I sure as hell don’t……How the hell could you?

 

I look back in hindsight and see that my friends and family were only trying to help , they didn’t know what to say , and who does? What do you say to someone who has been told that they can't ever have their own children and that they have an error in their genetic code. What can you say? The beginning of 2005 was a new start for me , I managed to drag myself out of my depression, My wife helped me incredibly, if it were not for her , I would not be here now, She saved my life on many occasions and in so many ways.

 

February 2005 was another turning point in my life , I made a decision to make myself feel better,  I went into Hospital. I decided to get rid of my Boobs and my "Love Handles" , I had a full Breast Removal and 5 Litres of Fat removed from my sides. Finding out that these were a condition of Klinefelters Syndrome and not my lazy fat lifestyle was a relief and a wake up call.

 

What ever you see on TV and what ever you hear people say about Liposuction, It Hurts … but its worth it, it helped me. Living as a 30 year old male with breasts that a 15 year old girl would have loved , really does crazy things for your self worth.

 

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